eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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