We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
