How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
