a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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