Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she peed on how many people?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
