Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
