Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
