You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
