Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
