it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think my fart just growled at me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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