I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
