I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
