Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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