Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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