It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
