did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
They have beer where we have blood.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
