Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize