You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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