I think I am morally bankrupt
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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