my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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