The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
