just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
