are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
this hospital has no fireball
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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