wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
