This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
