Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
