Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
