I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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