After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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