You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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