the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
