About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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