Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
