it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
