U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
