his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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