You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
