Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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