Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
