Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
