That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
