Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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