i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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