Don't you send me to vm
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
