I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
