So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
