What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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