We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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