he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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