I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
