honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
